So the kids have broken up for the summer break, 6 weeks whole weeks…..
My life has been a little hectic and I’ve found myself slipping into the darkness somewhat. Our lovely nanny resigned due to ill health and it made me realise how much we needed her in regards to childcare. Spending the last 6 weeks with the boys and not being able to work as left me somewhat distant and my patience has wore thin. My routine changed overnight and without structure I don’t function as well. I needed my routine.
My middle child is highly demanding and having special needs makes it a whole more complicated and very hard work. It can wear you down, emotionally, mentally and physically. You have both him and my youngest together and it’s world war 3. It’s chaos and they seem to be at war most of the time. My 11 year old likes his Xbox and moans if I ask him to come off after an hour and will sit there like with face like a smacked arse.
I was dreading waking up in the morning, dreading the day. Sleepless nights make it worse. With being unable to relax and get comfortable and with the warm weather it’s made this worse.
I felt shit Saturday just gone. I didn’t want to go to a family bbq so stayed home alone guzzling a large bottle of wine and took more than I should of done of my medication on the hope to knock me out, I got the desired effect sleeping like a baby and woke up Sunday feeling a little better. Being a mother is not easy it has its rewards don’t get me wrong and I’m very lucky to have 3 beautiful boys as I’m well aware there are people out there who would give anything to be parents. We needed help conceiving our 2nd child so I know how this feels.
I’ve also had a touch of writers block…I enjoy blogging about mental health. I’m grateful for the many followers I have, I don’t have social media so it’s not shared.