Fakeness

How you tell if someone is genuine and not one to stab you in the back as you had your turn around? How can you tell if a smile is genuine or good intentions benefit the person? This is something I find hard, because I’m generous kind I have a hard time to decipher if that person is basically just using me for that very reason.

I know it sounds paranoid but when you have been hurt by people who was suppose to care but to only to turn around and show their ugly side it sets doubts in my mind about everyone. You could say I have sone trust issues when it comes to ‘friends’.

I was one of these people who felt hurt when I would see a Facebook post of some photo of friends enjoying themselves yet I would not get invited and I’m sure that still is the case now but I don’t have social media anymore so that’s an added bonus to my sanity. I don’t have many friends and I like it that way. I prefer true friends to a huge number of friends, I’m far to old for popularity.

I still find it difficult to fit in as where I live in an outsider so everyone knows everyone before I came along. I live in a village which is so clicky, I hate the school runs. J keep myself to myself because it’s easier than trying to engage a conversation. I’m never going to my self to suit another person I prefer to my me. I’m real through and through. I could and never will be fake and I honestly don’t know how fake people sleep at night stringing people along. I think fake people in the end will be the lonely ones.

Karina

Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery.

One thought on “Fakeness”

  1. I also have trust issues when it comes to people and their motives/intentions. I think that’s the case with many, if not most, trauma survivors. I have learned to give most people the benefit of the doubt until they prove to me that they can’t be trusted. Once they’ve crossed that boundary, I find it difficult to ever trust them again. I’ve learned to trust my intuition. Some people I know right away are not to be trusted. I usually pick up a negative ‘vibe’ from them.

    Liked by 1 person

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