Being unable to switch off is a bitch. The last four nights have been a struggle, I can go to sleep but I wake couple of hours later and unable to drift off, I lay there wide awake staring into the darkness cursing away as well as counting down the hours until the new day begins.

Problem with insomnia it can affect your mood through out the day, it’s catching up to me. The lack sleep is causing me to be short tempered, unable to concentrate and irritable. I’m feeling tired through the day too. I work like a dog, I exercise and I have the children to care for and the house to keep on top off and with my busy life you would think my brain would have no problem staying asleep. I don’t understand why all of a sudden I’m having a bout of insomnia. Last time I was like this it lasted 6 months before i sought help as it was beginning not affect my day to day life.

I’m dreading the evening and going to bed because I’m thinking will I actually stay asleep? I’ve been having very bad night sweats too ( possibly my medication) which don’t help the matter, I wake up soaked through and bedding damp. I feel utterly grossed out by it.

When I do manage to fall sleep it’s daylight and the children will soon wake me up so it’s not a proper sleep, not even deep enough to be unconscious because consciously I know I will have to wake up very soon. It sucks. I wouldn’t wish insomnia on anybody, it’s miserable. In the early hours of the morning it’s a very lonely time. Everyone in the house is asleep including the puppy. Except me with my thoughts.


Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery.

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