Why do we get mental health disorders? Why can some people go through life without suffering from depression or any other form of mental health issue? I understand why people who have been through a trauma develop PTSD but why others? It’s so complicated and so common yet so very ignored by society.

Why do people abuse children and others? Why do people rape and murder other people? Is there something wrong with the person? Why do I exist? Why is the world a fucked up planet? Is there answers to my whys? Or have I missed something?

Last couple of days I’ve been a little emotional and tired and maybe due to the Easter over eaten a little and I’m feeling incredibly uncomfortable in my skin. I said to my husband the other day why does he find me attractive? He looked at me like I had a grown a 3rd head and he knows I know the answer to the question but I guess I was seeking reassurance from him.

I’ve developed some spots and I have dark circles under my eyes due to fatigue. I look ugly, why do I look ugly? Why can’t I be flawless? I don’t have time to add a skin care regime into my already busy schedules day. Im lucky enough to have 4 minutes a day to brush my teeth and 5 minutes to shower. I guess that’s called being a mum.

Zeus makes me smile during my crappy thoughts, his kind eyes and gentle face melts my heart. He is feeling well and because of this he had an excited buck while I was riding him, don’t worry I didn’t fall off but found it all too amusing. He enjoyed a roll in the ménage yesterday after being stabled. Zeus was funny to watch.

Mental health sucks.


Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery.

One thought on “Why?”

  1. Thank you for sharing this
    Yes, mental health sucks and I too find myself caught up in the ‘whys’ of it all.
    Life can be so unpredictably cruel and knock you off balance; the art I guess is to regain that balance, flip the finger to mental health and continue to live regardless.
    Blessings to you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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