I have scales and since having scales I’ve weight myself daily, sometimes twice the day and get upset when I don’t like what it reads and will go the whole day starving myself. Its shit because it makes me feel shit. I need to lose 7lbs and I’m struggling! I exercise and exercise and then I get hungry and will snack on something. My husband has not been that helpful this week either so I’m stuck not eating all day and he will cook an evening meal. I feel fat, I feel absolutely disgusting.
Today I found myself looking at diet pills, let’s just say I got caught and the husband was not very impressed. Last time I took a whole host of various different pills and ended up in the hospital suffering with seizures and tachycardia, I was very poorly so since then he says no and he will bin them. So I feel stuck, I’m wearing myself down.
I went for a run today and it seems you need a bit more than a banana to get you around a 5k run, i became tired quickly, but I pushed myself through the pain in a bid to get rid of some calories. Im no couch potato, I already walk nearly everyday, horse ride 4/5 times a week, so the odd exercise video and run when I can. Stopping for me is not an option.
I’m not feeling comfortable with myself at all, I see this frumpy person staring back, it makes me feel miserable. I eat pasta I feel guilty, I eat bread I feel guilty. Why can’t I be skinny? Why is it Such hard work?