I will Never be Ashamed

There is one thing Ive overcome In my mental health journey is to no longer to feel shame but to be proud of the person I have become.

It was the people around me as a child that should be ashamed, they shouldn’t be allowed to sleep at night. I’ve lost count the amount of nights lost due to insomnia when my mind is racing faster than a train and I can’t keep up with it. The worry, the strain that it had on me. My brain haunting me back to my childhood, no person should have to go through those afflictions.

Going through physical, psychological and sexual abuse as a child made me the person I am today, would I have been any different if I had a ‘normal’ childhood? It’s hard to say but one thing is for sure I would have had a Mum who was there for me when I passed my driving lesson, watched me walk down the aisle on my wedding day, held my hand as I gave birth to my sons plus much more that I’ve experienced without her. It would have been nice to have a mum where I could knock on the door for a cuppa and chat for 10 minutes or call her up if I’m feeling poorly. The thing this that is HER loss, she will never know the experiences I have had because she has never shared them with me.

I will be eternally grateful for what Shaun’s parents have done for me. They took me in at 17 when I had no where to go, mine and Shaun’s relationship was still very new at just 6 months old. We had to have our rooms which was fair enough but it worked out. They have done so much for me, more than anybody in the world ever had including my own family. People like Shaun’s parents are as rare as dragon bones.

I’m not ashamed to share my experiences with mental health or ashamed to take medication. I’m not ashamed that I received help for my issues and you know what, it was the best thing I’ve ever done because the burdens have lifted.

Karina ❤️

Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery.

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