Inscrutable

Inscrutable
Today’s daily post prompt, and its a great way to describe mental health. It’s poorly understood and not everybody gets it and what it does to people.

It’s not being sad and it’s definitely not attention seeking! As I feel that’s how some people would see hence why many don’t say or talk about it, it took me years to open up because I hate attention and never sought help. When you go through childhood with the wrong kind of attention you learn it’s something you hate. If the attention was focused on you it meant your in the shit. I can’t cope with someone being too nice to me, I don’t know why but I just struggle with it because in my mind they are not really wanting to be friendly does that make sense?

I know when I’m depressed and can’t get to grips with life I myself become inscrutable. My wall is impenetrable, no one comes in and my demons don’t go out, that’s how it works. My brain just processes crap in a boring loop of pain and poignant reminders of how my life was awful growing up. I’m much better now than I use to be, very rarely I have bad days now as long as I keep on taking my little white pills I’m okay.

Karina ā¤ļø short and sweet today

Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery.

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