The human brain is one of the most complex, intelligent organ in all mammals sat within its protected bone shell connected to the spinal cord via the brain stem, our brain is essential to life. It is our command center to all bodily functions,a mixture of white and grey matter. It weighs roughly around 3.3lbs and the cerebrum makes up 85% of the brains weight. As intelligent as the brain is, it has the power to destroy us, ourselves and anything else. There is one part of the brain that responds to things that are beyond our control, it controls the way we react to events that causes emotion especially fear, the Amygdala. This little part of the brain is also responsible for anxiety.
Anxiety is awful, your heart starts to race, you become sweaty and your breathing gets faster the Amygdala is responsible for activating the fight or flight response within us, these pair of little organs is responsible in making the decision in running or fighting. When the response has been chosen, the adrenal glands release adrenaline which gives us the feelings above of fast heart rate and sweating. Now amygdala responds to FEAR. Fear is a physical response to when we feel we are in danger, anxiety is different from fear, anxiety is psychological response to perceived danger. Emotional memories are also stored in this part of the brain, funny thing is how good memories that are on emotional level such as your wedding day for instance which could be a positive, musing feeling yet negative thoughts and traumas are more powerful, these memories are hard to process.
When a certain emotional stimuli that is painful is evoked, it can seriously occupy your thoughts and be very consuming. Amygdala is possibly responsible for the symptoms of PTSD. The hippocampus part of the brain located near amygdala is responsible for memories, especially long term memory. So basically my hippocampus is full of past, shitty memories and the two almond shaped organs in my brain are responsible for PTSD but the real CAUSES here are those who failed me as child, those who sexually, physically and emotionally abused me. My brain stored all that shit, physical pain hurts for a while but nasty words are painful forever, even worse wen they come from people who were suppose to love and care for me.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me
This is far from the truth, words can break you, words can hurt you. I would rather have the physical pain of broken bones, you can numb pain with painkillers but emotional pain you can’t take that away. That only goes when you pass away. Basically I will always be stuck with the painful memories but…………..
I try and fill my life with positive, happy memories with my babies and my husband, i will never be able to delete those awful memories they are hardwired in but i can make them more bearable to live with. My hippocampus thingy will be filled up with happiness, of course there are days i am haunted but i do utterly try my best to put them hauntings to the back of my mind in the box of hate and loathing. Nobody now cannot take away my happy memories, not ever.