Today me and my husband celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary and I firmly believe if it wasn’t for shaun I may have followed a different path or worse may not be here. Shaun has stuck by me through everything and I mean through everything. I first told him of my troubles at just 17 years old, that’s a lot for a 17 year old boy to take on and to be honest I half expected for him to run for the hills, after all everyone else did.
It took a lot of effort for meto tell him, it was difficult and I remember sobbing through it all, I felt vulnerable and had actually let down my walls to share my burdens. This was something I had never done and we had been in a relationship for 6/7 months before I told him because I felt he had to know, to give him a choice to stay or to go. After all I was a young girl with mental health issues and they got worse as time went on, especially after the birth of our first born 10 years ago.
Shaun has had to deal with so much when it has come to my mental health, in fact he needs a trophy and several pints! Maybe a pat on the back. He has listened to me talking about suicide, how I’m not worthy of him. He has seen me struggle days at a time with my feelings and emotions. I’ve tried pushing him away, I’ve yelled and screamed and been very insecure. But he’s stuck by me knowing it’s not my fault, that I was a damaged person.
Many people say I’ve got to where I am today by myself too, to give myself credit. Maybe, but without Shaun I don’t know if it would have been possible. I know I couldn’t have done it on my own, shaun was the person who begged me to get help as he felt he couldn’t do it on his own anymore. To me that was a pivotal moment I had to seek help. I had to do for him as well as for me. I was being a burden ( even though countless times he told me I wasn’t).
Shaun makes me feel beautiful every day and he tells me so countless times a day. He eases my anxieties, I’ve learned now he isn’t going anywhere and slowly my realisation to this is very much true. I love the bones of him, and I’m so blessed to have met and married a beautiful, kind, loving and caring man.