I think my entire adult life has been a big battle with not just mentally but physically too. 3 months ago I had major surgery due to endometriosis, a disease that ravaged my body. During the 5hr long op I had my Fallopian Tubes removed, a large recto-vaginal nodule removed, which was likely to be there from birth, removal of endometriosis and removal of the peritoneal Skin over my reproductive organs. You could say a complicated procedure! I also battled a severe kidney infection and sepsis in 2011- an illness i would wish on anybody. Sepsis kills over 37,000 people a year, more than cancer. Luckily for me it was caught in time.
I’ve had several surgeries due to endometriosis and my last two pregnancies were not easy either. The only thing I did find that couple days post op I would become depressed. Whether it was the fact I was limited on what I could do, I don’t know but I was not warned of post operative depression which is rather common.
I lost interest in everything and felt fatigued with the horrible feeling of doom. I’m unsure whether it was because I was under anesthesia for a long time maybe triggered something I don’t know. I think surgery was an emotional trigger for me. Maybe due to my history with mental health I was predisposed to developing depression. I felt useless and I started to wonder if people thought I was lazy not taking into the account at the time I was recovering from major surgery. I couldn’t ride Zeus and didn’t see anybody so I felt isolated too.
Once I was able to move about I did start to feel better, I felt less irritable and snappy with people around me and I’m no big fan of fuss either. I was ignored a lot as a child and I guess this carried onto into adulthood. Being fussed over makes me uncomfortable.
When I think about it now I have faced my fair share of crap and believe me it’s been very difficult for me. I’m hoping I have less battles, they suck!
I’m a warrior! Lets break the silence on postoperative depression!