Grieving for a Childhood I never had.

Lets get this straight, my childhood was filled with pain, abuse, social services and people who was suppose to care didn’t.  I was purely existing as a child, not living.  That if something had happened to me, nobody would give a shit or even notice me gone, basically my life was doomed the moment my mother pissed on the stick and got the postive result of an impending pregancy with a one night stand in a truckers lorry-classy.

I have three other half siblings, unfortunately followed the same damned path my mother walks on. I on the other hand chose a different route, but that’s for another story. My story is battling my mental health issues due to impact of my poor childhood and the affect ‘grownups’ behaviour had on me as a youngster.

I have been let down by so many people, it’s painful to think about, it’s painful to see me as a little child going through hell at the hands of adults.

When I had my first child, it all became apparent, looking at my newborn wondering how can someone be so cruel to a little defenceless person? How can someone hurt a 5yr old child for just being in the way? Questions I will never get answers too.

Karina ❤️

Author: karinao86

Mother of 3 boys, wife to one man and lover of horses. Mental health sufferer in recovery. View all posts by karinao86